Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Karma bites back

A couple of weeks ago I decided that on Tuesdays I would post what I would consider my "bad mommy of week" moment. I think most moms have these moments. Times where you dropped the ball (like not bringing backup clothes to daycare) or you did something with your little one that you instantly realized was a bad idea (like giving them a baby spoon to play with which they immediately try to shove back deep in their mouth/throat). I thought this would be a fun little series where I would record my silly little mistakes for people to chuckle over or chime in with similar mistakes and it would also help me get into the regular rhythm of blogging. Mondays I would do the McFatty posts, Tuesdays the bad mommy award, Wednesday a cute picture for Wordless Wednesday.... Good idea, right? Sure! Well, that is until my bad mommy moment resulted in tears - his and mine, but more importantly his. And suddenly my funny little series isn't so funny any more.

A couple of weeks ago I was scrambling to get out the door to take Fussy Gus for his six month check-up. Weekday mornings are hectic at my house -- we're not very organized, but it was even more hectic that day because my husband was away on a business trip and I was doing it solo. We were just about to leave the house, I put the baby into his car seat bucket thing and realized I forgot something in the kitchen. What I forgot, I have no clue. I remember thinking to myself that I should buckle him in, but he'd be fine for a second so I choose not to and went into the kitchen which is just a few steps away. I wasn't gone a couple of seconds when I heard the awful noise of Fussy Gus hitting the floor. He flipped himself out of the car seat and landed face down on the hardwood floor. Worse, the car seat had been on the ottoman, so he fell about two feet. My heart stopped. He immediately cried. I scooped him up and was able to comfort him so that he stopped crying pretty quickly. Shaking I righted the car seat, got him into it, grabbed the diaper bag and rushed to the doctor's office. On the way there I called my sister and started bawling about how I dropped the baby. She assured me he'd be fine and luckily he was.

I don't know if I would have taken him to the doctor's since I knew what to look for with a head injury, but since we had the appointment I damn sure was going to have look at him. The doctor probably would have asked since he had an angry red mark on his forehead from the fall, but I told her what happened and she examined him. He was fine and then I got the lecture and rightfully so -- I screwed up. From there we went to daycare and I had to tell them what happened and they had to document that he came in with the mark on his head so that they wouldn't be held responsible for it. And then I told my husband. Each time I told someone I was just reinforcing the feeling that I was the worst mom in the world.

I know accidents happen. I certainly never meant for him to fall and thankfully he wasn't hurt, but ever since that moment I feel sick that I had using my little mommy mistakes as a source of content for a blog. I felt like it was karma getting back at me. Am I being a bit over dramatic? That's the thing -- I know I am. But I can't shake the feeling, so while I'll continue to share my experiences of things that I do right, wrong and ass-backwards, it's not going to be in the form of a weekly series. It just feels like I'd be tempting fate too much. (And by now you've obviously guessed that I'm a bit superstitious)

Oh and just so you know, I did learn from my mistake. I do not put the car seat bucket thing anywhere but on the floor and the car seat base.


Alena said...

Sophia fell off the bed once. A few months ago. I had laid her down during her nap in the center of the bed. Towers of pillows on each side. She wasn't the best roller yet and I figured she'd cry for me to come get her before working the pillows out of the way. But I was wrong and heard "THUD". I cried. She cried. I cried some more, I actually cried more than she did. And when I told Cody that night I cried again. I dont' even put her on the bed while I'm getting dressed and I'm right there. And when she wants to play on the couch I have a pile of pillows and blankets and cushions on the floor in case she decides to fly away. It's scary, but truthfully...she's hit her head harder trying to stand up and cruise than she ever did that day. And those things...well those are things I can't protect her from.

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